My First Critical Theory ABC (4)

By: Greg Rowland
September 12, 2012

Comrades! I present you with a radical counter-blast to the pervasive neo-fascism of the play group, a seven-day series of Critical Theory poems — radical quatrains that will enable children to challenge the dehumanising practices of the Kindergarten Konvention. Read this opus to your children, denounce parents who do not do so, and above all campaign, by any means necessary, for its print publication.

‘L’ for Lacan, a fun-loving half-joker
Said words made up people, and not vice versa,
And he said you should do whatever you like…
So go kiss a zebra and call everyone ‘Mike’.

‘M’ is for Marx, an old guy with a beard
Got people with money alarmed and a-feared.
Karl said nutty stuff like “Rich people should share!”
But rich folk didn’t like it. They all shouted “Not Fair!”

‘N’ is for Nietzsche: smart, funny, good/bad and maybe quite mad,
Fred thought up an odd kind of Space-Cosmic-Dad.
Thus featured his Preacher, his Big-Sky-Magic-Creature —
So it’s hard to get Nietzsche, he’s a super-weird teacher.



A series of seven posts, written by Greg Rowland and illustrated by Joe Alterio.

Joe Alterio is an illustrator, animator, comic creator, and artist interested in narrative structure, interactive creativity, and the physical manifestations of story-telling. See more at


ALSO: Jacques Lacan as HiLo Hero | Greg Rowland on Dr. Seuss as HiLo Hero | More theory on HiLobrow


Browbeating, Haw-Haw, Poetry

What do you think?

  1. love the rhyme of joker/vice-versa. While sharing this over facebook I did so with following re/comment/dation: “i´d say these are the most seussian lines – which is a great compliment, better than merely lacanian” – i meant specifically the lacan-lines, and there are some others, too, that are quite seussian. do you have some more up your sleeve, that will be in the publication, which i would pray for if i were a believer.

  2. Thanks thomas .. Theodore is obviously a big influence, and as he was pretty solidly liberal-left, I’d hope that he’d approve of the sentiments if not all the metre!

    Don’t hold our breath for book publishing but we have some alternative thoughts up our sleeves. Check back on Hilobrow or befriend me on Facebook, you too Sidney! You’re my two man fan club!

  3. No, his metre was certainly rather rare. I forget the metric categorization, but especially in poetry for children it´s unique to him.
    I´ll definitely check back, this has been one of my favorite sites for a while now – I just don´t comment so much.
    Will do.
    I can´t believe there are only two.

  4. Somehow FB doesn´t want me to befriend you. I bet I´m easier to befriend. In case there are more people with my name – I´m the one with the “Too ugly to die”-Ben Grimm-profile and the Calvin&Hobbes-title. Incidentally, a while back I commented under your Uncle-Benji-essay;)

  5. Just be careful not to worry about not having enough fun, or the right kind of fun. I recommend having fun worrying.

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