My First Critical Theory ABC (6)

By: Greg Rowland
September 14, 2012

Comrades! I present you with a radical counter-blast to the pervasive neo-fascism of the play group, a seven-day series of Critical Theory poems — radical quatrains that will enable children to challenge the dehumanising practices of the Kindergarten Konvention. Read this opus to your children, denounce parents who do not do so, and above all campaign, by any means necessary, for its print publication.

Said is our ‘S’, an extremely kind and extraordinary bloke,
Said some folks are lucky and others are broke.
It’s really a matter of where you were born —
You might smell the roses, or get pricked by the thorn.

Theo our ‘T’, said TV and cash were mostly to blame
For throwing a poo at the Clever-Thought-Brain.
I think he’s half-right, but whatever kick he’s on
Adorno’s not going to watch Nickelodeon.

‘U’ is Umberto, likes comics and prose,
And wrote a nice book, The Name of the Rose,
Which you’d think would be Rose, but it wasn’t you see,
’Cos you can’t have a story that ends on page three.



A series of seven posts, written by Greg Rowland and illustrated by Joe Alterio.

Joe Alterio is an illustrator, animator, comic creator, and artist interested in narrative structure, interactive creativity, and the physical manifestations of story-telling. See more at


ALSO: Adorno as HiLo Hero | Greg Rowland on Dr. Seuss as HiLo Hero | More theory on HiLobrow


Browbeating, Haw-Haw, Poetry