By: James Parker

“Her head fills with words/which curdle into curds/which turdle into turds.”

By: James Parker

“Who’s onscreen? Pull him up. It’s Jason Bourne.”

By: James Parker

“I see you with your crossbow cocked,/and your intellect murderously locked.”

By: James Parker

“You said the wrong/right thing and his face went stony”

By: James Parker

“Damn these clanging udders!/Damn these muscular shudders!”

By: James Parker

“Economical huffings,/elbow-strikes and de-handcuffings.”

By: James Parker

“A neck-nape to send you on a week-long bender.”

By: James Parker

“It bloats the franchise./It increases its pantsize.”

By: James Parker

“Sadder than sad with my old-man spigot./Can you dig it?”

By: James Parker

Watching the JASON BOURNE trailer.

By: James Parker

“No husbandry, no arboriculture. / Here’s your wood — if your woodsman is a vulture.”

By: James Parker

“One day a death squad comes for her.”

By: James Parker

Kullervo: “My little blade is humorous./You will admire its wit.”

By: James Parker

“This one is dead as the grass./Let him pass, let him pass.”

By: James Parker

“Ladies, come and get some,/before I’m turned into cosmic jetsam!”