By: Tom Nealon

A green-tongued and hairy-backed icon.

By: Tom Nealon

He locates the key to our humanity within the permutations of our weirdness.

By: Tom Nealon

Bringing Swiftian vengeance to the streets of America.

By: Tom Nealon

Miley Cyrus is at once surface and symbol.

By: Tom Nealon

“Don’t rap about your car, rap about what a car *is*.”

By: Tom Nealon

“Russia number 1, Iran number 1, USA [spits]”

By: Tom Nealon

A hero and victim of pro wrestling’s “kayfabe.”

By: Tom Nealon

His brilliance is perpetually muffled.

By: Tom Nealon

A giant fat guy back when there was still honor in it.

By: Tom Nealon

Down with “thick and rich” gravy!

By: Tom Nealon

Secret History of Salad Dressing

By: Tom Nealon

Why didn’t Europe crack the secret of maple syrup?

By: Tom Nealon

Nocenti’s work stands out like Longshot’s weirdly glowing eye.

By: Tom Nealon

“I need to start writing pieces about other people’s problems.”

By: Tom Nealon

M.C.A.’s in the back because he’s skeezin’ with a whore? No more.