By: Tom Nealon

You know what cucumberless tzatziki is going to taste like…

By: Tom Nealon

When you want all of it, all at once, all the time.

By: Tom Nealon

Does it seem to stare at you, your gravy?

By: Tom Nealon

The amygdala files it under “not food, scary.”

By: Tom Nealon

Make some pikliz, put it on your pylsa…

By: Tom Nealon

It’s an endless condiment machine…

By: Tom Nealon

“more thicker than forget / more thinner than recall.”

By: Tom Nealon

Popular among testicle-humor lovers worldwide…

By: Tom Nealon

For God’s sake, roast your peppers.

By: Tom Nealon

A sort of Proustian sleight of hand…

By: Colin Dickey

The erotic is entirely opposed to the pornographic.

By: Colin Dickey

The energy of the Mystery Cave has escaped…

By: Colin Dickey

Something here is wrong… but what?

By: Tom Nealon

My Platonic ideal of a nacho…

By: Tom Nealon

Employed as a salty, umami addition for millennia.